Not sure how to word this: How do I stop thinking so much? How do I lighten up for once?

I'm a 17 year old boy and..I mostly have no feelings of my own. The feelings I have are projected by my parents. Getting ONE piercing in my ear for example..If my parents hate it, I can't do it. No, I have their permission..But not their support. And yet, needless to say..My families a bad influence. The fact that they drink all the time and fight kind of supports that..Not to mention physical encounters I've had with them. Here's a weird example for you. No matter what I say, I consciously never have accepted the fact that I'm homosexual..Why? Because my parents hate gays. No exaggeration. Hate them. My friends have all been telling me I need to break loose, that they're having a negative influence on me. Yeah, of course..They're my parents and all but..They're such negative people..They're cynics. Then they lecture me for doing silly stuff like joking with a friend. Life is all seriousness to them..And as quoted by one of them..."Every single person you meet will eventually stab you in the f*cking back." (This..After I filled in an application for a job). I always have to worry about what they think.. But quite frankly, I'm kind of sick of listening to them..And I'm sick of their drunk tangents too. Quite literally, my own father wishes to die..No kidding. it was his birthday a month ago, and when my mom left the room, he started going on about life not being good..How he was done with it, and how his birthday wish is to die. My mom was half way in the door when she heard this, so she got on his @$$ about it, and they started fighting. And I feel guilty for doing my own thing because..Until I find a job (Still looking), I'm still kind of mooching off of them..But then again, my friends say that being independent doesn't mean I'm going against them or anything.. Then there was one night where one of my parents just went on this drunken tangent about sex..Saying some weird sh*t like..Orgasms are the reason the world is a piece of sh*t.. What the hell?! Look..The point of this question: How do I find an independent state of thought? A state of thought where I don't care about anyone elses thoughts but my own I'm already kind of that way in the sense that..I don't let people walk over me, and I talk sh*t. Not because I think I'm cool..Mainly because I don't care what people think, and I don't take their crap. Like if a girl is calling me a freak, and is just completely roasting me in the classroom while I'm in the corner..I just say something ballsy aloud to shut her up. I just need to learn to have an independent state of mind. Seriously..I don't even consider a persons advice. I follow it like an order... Even my teachers want me making my own choices.. I've gone to a lot of my teachers for advice..And their advice is very similar.. This is a harsh way to say things but.. They've kinda crushed some of my dreams with their negative outlooks on everything.. And no, I'm not talking dreams like..Becoming a f*cking astronaut or something -.-

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