Opinions Needed Please!!!?

As you walk up the slightly sloped driveway, you get a sight that not only widens your eyes, it opens your ears, it lets your nose take in smells that makes you smile and it feeds your taste buds like it is a baby being hand-fed. The surroundings make you realise what is really around you. You take it all in. Not wanting to miss a second of this appealing place. Right in the middle of your line of view is a small, oval shaped patch of grass, the old oak tree standing tall and proud in the centre as if he himself owned this wonderful land. The sound of the wind beating viciously at his branches and rustling his leaves shocks you and your ears hurt suddenly as the wind picks up and smacks your bare skin. The tree must be hundreds of years old but the wind doesn’t affect him; he still stands tall and proud. He must have seen this farm grow bigger and bigger up until this very day. Birds flutter politely between his branches and eat greedily from feed-hangers that hang lightly from him. Even from the distance that you are at, you can hear the birds wings beat furiously as they try to stay in flight. You stop gazing at the ancient tree and glance around. To your left is the shimmering whiteness of the geese’s feathers, the sun radiating down and reflecting not only light; but beauty. The geese waddle around their captive pen with joy and content. They squawk and hiss with passion and the sound pierces your ears. A sudden movement in the corner of your eye makes you draw your eyes unwillingly from the creatures that you had just admired. With your head tilted to your right, you watch intently as a rider collects the pony that waits knowingly in the stables. The horse’s head is held high as the rider pats him affectionately and hooks her leg over. She taps the heel of her riding boot into the side of the horse, it snorts in anticipation for the long ride ahead. Its velvety coppered coat is blocked suddenly from the sunlight as a cloud hovers overhead. You take time to study the barn that covers the other horses. You can tell it is newly built, with a strong, sturdy roof and wooden walls, you see that the stalls are a variety of sizes. Some only have two horses in while others which are more spacious fit up to four inside. The other horses in the barn whinny longingly as they watch their friend being ridden away. The sound calms you and echoes in your ears. And for the first time, you notice the small, delicately designed cottage that rests in the heart of the farm. Its thatch roof lies quietly upon the four old bricked walls. The small picket fence circles the cottage and crimson roses entangle themselves through the gaps. The flower patch that is to the left of the white painted front door has giant sunflower’s that reach higher than the fence enclosing them. The sun projecting the cottages silhouette. You take a deep breath and smell the scents of the countryside. The rich smell of horses wafts through your nose, making you realise just how fresh the air is. You take in the scent of the cold windy weather which makes your nose tingle with a sharp pain as the iciness hits. As you retrace your footsteps back down the drive, you stop and look back over your shoulder for one last glimpse of the beauty that lies within this farm. Happiness fills your senses. Sight. Sound. Smell. Taste.

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3 Comments: Trackback URL | Comments RSS

  1. Spotty Says:

    It’s good.
    But next time be patient and wait for an answer to your other question, which is exactly the same as this one. -_-

  2. Lindsey Says:

    you need to add some paragraphs.
    most people won’t read a huge section like this.
    it’s better in a book, because there isn’t such a wide reading range.

    i didn’t read the whole thing.
    my eyes get lost.

    EDIT-

    “The sun projecting the cottages silhouette.”

    this is not a complete sentence.

  3. Sweet Yum Thing Says:

    not bad but …

    is there anything more annoying then reading prose written in the present tense????

    (usually this technique is a crutch for people who do not know how to use the fabulously complex more sophisticated tenses available int he english lang)

    do you find that there in anything more annoying then reading sentences written in the second person? you are thinking, “no, that is absolutely the worst!” you are wondering, why doesn’t she do it like normal people? who is “you” anyway? so you wonder wht is this girls problems with the first person?

    also, this sucked too:

    words

    plain

    alone

    ending

    huh?

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