What should I do? I want it, but he doesn’t aprove… ?

So I am engaged. We've been together 4 years (5 years in May) and we love each other more than words can say. We always get along but recently we have disagreed on one thing - piercings. I love them. But he HATES them. I got my belly button done and he got soooooo upset. I felt kind of bad that he hated it so much when I really loved it. "It's trashy" even though I don't show it off. And I want to get a little stud on my nose but he thinks that it's "hoe-ish" and he almost killed me when i got my cartilage pierced! But it's not like I want my eyebrow done or my hips or lip? That's a bit extreme! But yeah what show I do? They're no way this will make us brake up but it really just causes tension. oh trust me he isnt controlling!! no, he just really doesn't care for them! to the girl that asked about hip piercings; http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b137/xXneverenderXx/DSCN3014-1.jpg

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22 Comments: Trackback URL | Comments RSS

  1. Ali Says:

    It’s your body and he needs to get over it. I felt that way about my husbands tattoos years ago and he still loves them, got more and wants more. If it’s a desire you have…you do it.

  2. Mindy Says:

    signs signs everywhere signs…5 yeaRS wow, he sounds controlling no matter what you do, he should love you not backlash you with name calling whatever you’ve done..
    sorry he’s not a keeper.

  3. Sapphires Says:

    Whoa, he sounds pretty controlling. It sounds like he doesn’t even want to you to be yourself and express yourself. You need to address this with him immediately.

  4. abc Says:

    if you love him so much, you will get rid of the piercings….if you can’t figure this trivial issue out, you should not get married; when you are married, you have important things to compromise about…..this is such a non issue in the scheme of things to come

  5. Nancy S Says:

    get out, and get out now.

  6. Blossom Says:

    Tell him to grow up and act his age not his shoe size.

  7. Nancy B Says:

    Since this is an issue, why don’t you have fun buying new earrings for your ears or your belly button for awhile, instead of getting a new piercing.
    Normally I would say it’s your body do what you want…but since you have five good years, why do something that turns him off physically and he will see it everytime he looks at your face?
    Personally, I think of too many piercings as someone who looks like they got in a bad fishing accident, and i agree with your bf that it is very unattractive. yuck.

  8. Xray Says:

    I think the peircings you have and want are about the ones I would not find ojectional, but will your nose whistle in e flat minor when you breathe through it?

  9. Rosha N Says:

    Definitely keep the ones you already have but talk to him about future piercings since they make him unhappy. He is your fiance after all. If he was just your boyfriend I would say do whatever you want.

  10. Palsie Says:

    That is your body not his, he seems to have a touch of the control freak in him.I have to ask though , How do you get hips pierced?

    edit
    Thanks for the link…that looks painful:(

  11. Wine Country Girl Says:

    It is your body, your choice…. That being said, he is the one that is going to be with you. The piercing is something that is not attractive to him. He may have a hard time looking at you in a loving way, when he is not attractive to that. If you had it before you were together then obviously he fell in love with you despite what he did not like, but this is different.

    My boyfriend doesn’t like piercings, but I had my belly pierced before we were together, and he doesn’t mind it… But I definitely wouldn’t do something like another piercing or getting a tattoo, unless he was ok with it as well.

  12. Leo Says:

    i don’t think this is a reason to break up but i think what is causing this tension might be. he needs to love you for who you are no matter who that person is. you should not feel the need to stress about doing anything you want to YOUR body (not his). if you like it then he can accept it or find another girlfriend. yes relationships are about compromise but you sound pretty solid on this and if he cant meet you in the middle then maybe you are better off with out him

  13. Eric D Says:

    you need to decide if this a “deal breaker.” Will you settle for NOT getting and wearing more piercings; or will you settle for him getting pissed off and disgusted by your choice’s? Is he vocal about them? Does he stay the same thing on a daily basis or it is a one time statement? Imagine your life after you get married. Can you or do you WANT to deal with it?

  14. ibme999 Says:

    This question can be easily answered with this question, If he did something that you totally disagreed with, made you upset a lot (like he got with you) would you get upset with him? Put yourself in his shoes. Why would you do anything to make the person that you love upset?

    I think he’s right. It makes a person look cheap. It’s a fad and before you know it, there will be medical articles coming out explaining the dangers of piercings etc.

    Tattoos are also a huge fad. I know of many people who are now getting them removed because they can’t get a job because the employers do not allow it.

    I don’t like the nose piercings. It looks like there’s a booger hanging on the outside of the nose. But that’s just me.

    My grandmother would say, “If God wanted you to have a hole in your head, He would have made it” Ahh grandmother adivce..ya gotta love it right?

    Listen to your sweetie. He’s right. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t be making such a big deal out of it.

  15. Amanda B Says:

    I think that if he really loves you and wants you to be his bride that he should except you for you. You like something, and he doesn’t. Well I would talk to him about it and let him know that you really want to get pierced and then go for it! You got to be you and do what makes you happy and something as small as that breaks you two apart then you shouldn’t be marrying the man anyhow. When he starts to lose his hair I don’t think that you are going to leave him or make him wear a wig. Do what you want to do. He’ll still love you and he may even find that it is very sexy! Good Luck!

  16. Janesita Says:

    Well…
    I personally like piercing too and have a couple of my own.

    I feel that you should respect his opinion. I mean it’s not hurting you if you DON’T get it. Why cause problem or un-necessary conflicts, you know he doesn’t like them. It seems like you guys have a pretty cool relationship, why bring drama into it. Besides on a “professional level” face piercings are not so great.

  17. Selene M Says:

    If he’s not being controlling,

    I would say that you should get rid of the piercing and groom yourself the way that turns him on. To be a couple you need to compromise. What is more important, the piercings, or making him happy? He has to look at you. If something turns him off, and upsets him, what is that going to do to your love life?

    On the other hand, perhaps this piercing is symbolic to you of a deeper problem, some doubt you have over whether he is the right guy. Think about this seriously. You won’t be breaking up over the piercing, but over what it symbolizes to you.

    But if you want to stay with him, get rid of the piercing. There will be other issues more important not to compromise on.

  18. cathy Says:

    firstly, you need to talk to him about why he hates him. He needs to give a reason.

    and maybe talk to him and convince him of getting one. Maybe he’s afraid of you getting hurt? or the trouble when it gets infected.

    Some guys just love pure and natural. No piercing to make you hot or sexy.

    But also, why do you want so many? a belly is smth i can accept. But even a nose piercing. it’s NOT easy to take care. 10 of my friends gotten it done and 10 of them let it close. haha.

    But maybe you could tell your bf that let you try it, and it doesn’t work, you can always let it close.

  19. lovepreschool Says:

    You have to decide if he is worth the piercings. Those piercings aren’t going to keep you warm at night or help you raise children.

    My husband’s love for his first wife started dying with the first tattoo she got. By the time she got the 3rd one, he knew it was just a matter of time before they were finished. I helped him to make up his mind to leave.

    Of course, I have no tattoos, but all 3 of our kids do (2 girls & a boy, all over 20 years old). You have to decide if you want to chance one more piercing. That might be the one that puts him over the edge.

    It’s not a control issue; piercings and tattoos are not for everyone.

  20. A Canadian Says:

    I agree with him…they are trashy. Sorry.

  21. sugar Says:

    You should consider his feelings too, because one thing that the guy doesn’t like, you want them to like you, don’t do anything that will make them go mad. But if you love them, he should understand too.

  22. Dominics` Lady Says:

    maybe you should respect that he doesnt like them, it should not be a big deal. the world is not gonna end if you dont get peircings, if my bf didnt like them i would not bother with them not worth the tension

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