Not sure if wife is cheating or having identity crisis?

I was wondering if anyone might have some insight into my situation. My wife recently decided to get her tongue pierced. I told her that I really did not want her to, but she did anyway. I know she wants to do her own thing and thats fine, but kissing her is like making out with a light switch. I know a lot of people say receiving oral heightens the sexual experience but It does not feel good at all, its really taken away a lot of the excitement of having sex with her. I told her how I feel and she says it makes her feel sexy and does not want to part with it. The situation does bother me and its not so much about the piercing, but it makes me think she might be looking outside the relationship for something else. She has cheated on me more than a few times in the past and I do love her but it seems like she always hangs out with the wrong crowd and wants to do things to make other people happy instead of her family when she does. She would never tell me if she was up to no good but I do believe she has changed. I don't know if I should stay and try to talk it out of her (not likely) move out for a while? I really don't know what to do I know its more of just a rant but wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience and what course you took. we are both 25 and have a 3 & 9 year old.

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4 Comments: Trackback URL | Comments RSS

  1. johnnysunshine11 Says:

    You sound like you’re overreacting but with her track record and the fact that you had a child so young I see how you are so paranoid. There’s not much you can do but trust her until you find out you’ve been burnt. As far as the piercing you better just get over it since it likely has nothing to do with anything but her self image.

  2. BRYAN C Says:


    You may not like her oral now with the piercing but her other guy does.

    Make no mistake about it she is on the loose again. And to be honest yyou know it. Just a matter of time to you wake up and can’t hide it from yourself.

    I’d just plan on being ready when she needs to ‘get away for a while’ and say ‘ok..whatever you want’. Then take the kids and MOVE.

    She’ll be back when the newest guy is done with her. I’m sure it has happened before. This time it won’t just be you wondering what he did with her as she will have a few tats and piercings as a reminder of that guy(s).

    You need to move on with you and the kids.

  3. oh gourd Says:

    yes…i do have an insight,it sounds like youre talking about me.
    If shes rebellious like you say, if you move out she wont take you back,I woundnt.
    Whats the real beef here…ur not as tolerant as you used to be..people generally lose love when they become intolerant,
    My husband didnt approve of my friends music ect..therefore i was not acceptable..ultimately…he didnt love me enough…
    is that where you are?
    People cant be changed by others . good luck.

  4. autumnday2898 Says:

    Maybe you need to step back a little and look at your relationship. If she has cheated before she may be doing this again, however this may also be due to the fact that you are both young and have 2 children, and guessing by their ages, you had them when you were young. By her getting her tongue pierced it may be a way of rebelling, or just trying things out she may feel she missed out on, since having to grow up when you had your children at a young age.

    I myself do have my tongue pierced, I did it after I got divorced (about 3 years ago) When I got it pierced it made me feel like I had control over myself. My ex husband was controlling, emotionally, and verbally abusive, he also cheated on me several times. I got the piercing because it made me feel empowered and sexy. Yes there are some guys who like it, and some who don’t, I have run across both, and I have accommodated. She should listen to you and how this makes you feel.

    Maybe after talking if she still is reluctant to listen, you need to take some time away, and re-evaluate your relationship, and if this is something that you still want. Make sure she is not cheating again, and if she is, I would take the kids and leave. I am sure that there is someone out there who will appreciate you, and not cheat on you.

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