Could you take a minute to read my opening for my book and tell me what you think?

could you please take some time to read this and tell me what you think so far? Prologue Sometime in 1979... Nothing seemed to stick out about that warm august night; nothing at all. The hot days preceded even hotter nights. The humidity had seen Mallorie not turn on the hot water pump, a rare sight even in the summer time. But tonight was different, after her pleasantly cold shower Mallorie collapsed into bed, content and had fallen into a deep sleep. Little did she know that at that precise moment she was creating a murderer; for she did not know she was pregnant yet, and she still would not be aware of this fact for a period of two weeks when she would find out in her work’s toilet and she would run screaming and there would be a local scandal; for no one had become pregnant outside of marriage in the small town of Fir Creek in Alaska. Her Mother would disown the only child she had and Mallorie would begin the perilous journey of pregnancy away from home. But this was all in the near future and this she did not know yet. It was under unusual circumstances that she had become pregnant... Mallorie was a barista at the one and only cafe in the town. That particular day that she had happened to become pregnant, was one of the busiest days that Mallorie could remember and Mallorie (although grateful for the extra cash) was tired and wary. It was 10 Minutes to closing time when a tall dark haired gentleman seemed to materialise at the counter. She defied her better judgement and decided not to tell this new piece of person that it was only 10 minutes to closing time. The stranger ordered a coffee and took a seat in one of the many frayed booths that lined up around the sides of the small cafe. As the man raised a steaming mug to the coffee mug to his lips Mallorie swallowed think that that coffee mug should have been her. “What the heck” she thought “it’s been to long”. Pulling her top tighter than necessary and hitching up her skirt she checked her reflection in the coffee canister. Auburn hair still glowing she sashayed over the small floor area came to a halt at his booth; he did not look up at her as she graciously slid down into the booth opposite him. She looked at the man and she now had his attention. She caught his eye. A piercing purple eye. The next thing she remembered was waking up, alone. She looked at the clock in the far corner and saw it was half an hour after closing time. She shook her head and looked at the table. 10 dollars was left under the coffee mug. The Man was gone and thought not think when its about the mug to lips thing

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2 Comments: Trackback URL | Comments RSS

  1. Jude Says:

    I guess that the man isn’t necessary

  2. Jodie Says:

    WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!
    Yes it was awesome.
    WHAT HAPPENS NEXT THOUGH!!
    I want to read this book. Publish!!

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